A parent who does not forget us; a shepherd who walks beside us always
Thoughts on Mother’s Day / Good Shepherd Sunday
Mother’s day is not a joyful holiday for everyone. For some it is uneasy, or complicated, or painful. Some have had difficult relationships with their mothers—or mothers with their children. Some have lost their mothers or have lost a child. Some have wanted to become mothers and have been unable to do so. Some have never known their mothers and have been raised in foster care or group homes. Even for those in traditional family structures, mothering isn’t easy.
Writing on Medium, Lauren H. Sweeney says, “Mother’s Day is hard for me because I am a mother and I have a mother. And we’re both inadequate. It wasn’t supposed to be this way, it wasn’t the plan. I was going to be everything she wasn’t. … The thing that makes mothering so hard (and consequently, a day about celebrating mothering so hard) is knowing that I don’t do it right, just as I wasn’t done right by. I mean, my mother tried. And I try.” But life is hard and things don’t go painlessly.
Scripture says (Isaiah 49:15): “Can a woman forget her nursing child, or show no compassion for the child of her womb?” In the next breath, that same scripture acknowledges that human parents may forget and neglect their children. I work in a human services agency, where child protection services and child support enforcement are ongoing concerns. We celebrate Mother’s Day for all the good that comes from mothers. We celebrate Father’s Day for all the good that comes from fathers. Yet we also acknowledge that there are no perfect parents in this world, nor any perfect children, and family life is frequently problematic.
Our heavenly Father assures us that even though earthly parents may fail to be mindful of their children, he will not forget us.“See, I have inscribed you on the palms of my hands,” he says (Isaiah 49:15-16). We wonder about that, though. We often cry out to God, “The Lord has forsaken me, my Lord has forgotten me” (Isaiah 49:14). We seek God, we thirst for him, wanting to know he is with us. We are like souls in a dry and weary land where there is no water (cf. Psalm 63:1). We feel like a man named Job felt long ago when his life fell apart. Whether we look ahead or behind or to the right or the left, we cannot perceive God’s presence. It seems God is hiding or has abandoned us (cf. Job 23:8-9).
Often, our problem with sensing God’s presence in our lives is we expect to find him only in obvious blessings, in pleasant and happy times, when we see signs of success. More often, God’s most noticeable presence with us is during times of strain and hurt and hardship. The LORD promises us, “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you” (Isaiah 43:2). God does not promise that floods and fires and turmoil will not come our way. Rather, when the troubles of the world plague us, that is when we draw closest to him.
Today is not only Mother’s Day. It is also Good Shepherd Sunday—a day to be reminded of how God cares for us and carries us. As the shepherd psalm (Psalm 23) assures us, even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we need no fear evil because the LORD is with us and comforts us (Psalm 23:4). In a sermon this weekend, a pastor echoed that word to congregation members, saying. “Our Shepherd walks with us and has always walked with us. No place is foreign to Jesus. All things are present to him, because he has defeated death.” Christ was and is and will be with us always—through life’s every trial, through death, and into eternity.
We will walk through troubles in this life. That doesn’t mean that God our Father has forsaken us. Rather, in times of trouble especially the Lord’s word rings true, telling us, “As a mother comforts her child, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted” (Isaiah 66:13). We are assured that the Lord keeps track of all our sorrows, as if collecting all our tears in a bottle. He has recorded each one in his book (Psalm 56:1). We can take comfort in times of suffering, “knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us” (Romans 5:3-5).
It is best not to get too absorbed in our own pain and problems, but to connect with our fellow human beings in faith and hope. In a deeply personal book about the struggles of his own soul, Henri Nouwen wrote: “You will deceive yourself into believing that if the people, circumstances, and events [of your life] had been different, your pain would not exist. This might be partly true, but the deeper truth is that the situation which brought about your pain was simply the form in which you came in touch with the human condition of suffering. … Real healing comes from realizing that your own particular pain is a share in humanity’s pain. … Every time you can shift your attention away from the external situation that caused your pain and focus on the pain of humanity in which you participate, your suffering becomes easier to bear. It becomes a ‘light burden’ and an ‘easy yolk’ (Matthew 11:30). Once you discover that you are called to live in solidarity with the hungry, the homeless, the prisoners, the refugees, the sick, and the dying, your very personal pain begins to be converted into the pain [shared with all human beings], and you find new strength to live in it. Herein lies the hope of all Christians” (The Inner Voice of Love, 1996 – p. 103-104).
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- For whatever reason God chose to make humans as we are—limited and suffering and subject to sorrow and death—God had the honesty and the courage to take his own medicine. Whatever game he is playing with his creation, he has kept his own rules and played fair. He can exact nothing from humanity that he has not exacted from himself. He has himself gone through the whole of human experience, from the trivial irritations of family life and the cramping restrictions of hard work and lack of money to the worst horrors of pain and humiliation, defeat, despair, and death. He was born in poverty and died in disgrace and thought it well worthwhile.
-Novelist and Christian writer Dorothy Sayers
The Greatest Drama Ever Staged & The Triumph of Easter (1938)
Scripture quotations, except where otherwise indicated, are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright © 1989 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.