death

08
May
2021

Remembering Mom

Mother’s Day 2021

A year ago, at the beginning of May, I was talking with my mother by phone. Shelter-in-place conditions had been in effect for over a month at that time, due to the spread of a new, dangerous coronavirus. My mother was frustrated by pandemic precautions. The beautician couldn’t come into her assisted living center, and she really wanted to get her hair done. She couldn’t gather in the dining room with friends. Social distancing meant they had to stay in their own rooms. 

Less than a week later, I was talking to a doctor at the hospital where my mother had been admitted. She had developed symptoms associated with COVID-19. Within a few days, the disease ravaged her circulatory system and took her out of this life. She passed away on Mother’s Day 2020. One day, being unable to sit in a salon seemed an important issue. A short time later, there were far more critical concerns.

My family’s story is not unique. Worldwide, over three million deaths have been attributed to COVID-19. In the United States alone, the number is nearing 600,000.  

We’ve learned again what has always been true, what prophets and poets have said from long ago:  

  • “All people are grass, their constancy is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades” (Isaiah 40:6,7).
  • “Our years come to an end like a sigh. The days of our life are seventy years, or perhaps eighty, if we are strong; even then their span is only toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away” (Psalm 90:9,10).

Life in this world isn’t easy. We’d like it to be smoother than it is. We wish we could predict and prevent problems, but we can’t. Life’s fragility gives us all the more reason to lean on each other and stand with one another. We need each other in good times and bad.

The pandemic of this past year has taught us to value one another more deeply, to treasure times we do have together with family, with friends, with those we care about. As we celebrate Mother’s Day this weekend, many are missing their mothers and grandmothers. Families may be appreciating one another more than ever this year. Others may be feeling family strain from all the difficulties the past year has brought about. In any case, words of wisdom call us to care for one another. “Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old. … Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice” (Proverbs. 23:22,25). 

Time is short. Relationships are precious. Today we remember those we’ve lost, who have gone on to eternity ahead of us. And today and tomorrow and for as many days as we have, we will nurture and tend to the ties that bind us to those we love. Love is more than sentimentality expressed through cards and flowers on special days. Love is a bond. Even when separated from family by many miles or many months since last seeing each other, the bond still calls us to hold onto each other and share our hearts.

Blessings to your family this Mother’s Day.

—- 

Blest be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love ...

We share our mutual woes, our mutual burdens bear, 

and often for each other flows the sympathizing tear. 

When we are called to part, it gives us inward pain; 

but we shall still be joined in heart, and hope to meet again.

—

Scripture quotations are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright © 1989 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Posted by David Sellnow
04
Jan
2020

Precious Lord, Take My Hand

Originally published on The Electric Gospel on March 30, 2017, from a chapel message delivered on a college campus.

Precious Lord, Take My Hand

by David Sellnow

Thomas Dorsey’s father was a preacher and a sharecropper.  His mother was a church organist.   Already from the time he was a boy, Thomas wanted a career in music.  At age eleven, he left school to take a job in a local vaudeville theater in Atlanta, Georgia – where the family was living.  From ages twelve to fourteen he was earning a living playing piano in bars and brothels and for house parties.  By the time he was seventeen, he headed to Chicago to pursue his music further.  After working for a time in a steel mill in Gary, Indiana, Dorsey studied music at the Chicago School of Composing and Arranging.  He found success in the music business in Chicago as a composer and arranger and piano player.  He was known as “The Whispering Piano Player” from playing after-hours parties where the music had to be kept quiet enough so as not to attract the attention of the police.

Dorsey was so frantically engaged in his musical life that at age 21, he suffered a nervous breakdown.  He went back home to Atlanta to recuperate.  His mother wanted him to stop playing the blues; he should “serve the Lord,” she said.  He didn’t listen. He went back to Chicago.  Coming to be known as “Georgia Tom,” he amassed even greater musical success as a sought-after band leader or accompanist for blues performers such as Ma Rainey, Tampa Red Whittaker, Scrapper Blackwell, Big Bill Broonzy, Frankie Jaxson, Blind Lemon Jefferson, Memphis Minnie, and Victoria Spivey.

In 1925, Dorsey married his sweetheart, Nettie Harper, who was Ma Rainey’s wardrobe manager.  But Dorsey continued to struggle with depression and mental stress and suffered a second major breakdown in 1926.  He was suicidal and unable to compose or perform music. Doctors didn’t seem to help.  Taking time off didn’t fix things.  His sister-in-law urged him to come to church, and he did.  He even visited a faith-healer, who told him, “Brother Dorsey, there is no reason for you to be looking so poorly and feeling so badly. The Lord has too much work for you to let you die.”  From then on, Dorsey began to do what his mother had always wanted – write and play music for the Lord.  He saw connections between the blues and gospel music.  He once said, “If a woman has lost a man, a man has lost a woman, his feeling reacts to the blues; he feels like expressing it.  The same thing acts for a gospel song. Now you’re not singing the blues; you’re singing gospel, good news song, singing about the Creator. But it’s the same feeling, a grasping of the heart.”

But most churches didn’t want his music. From 1928-1931, as Dorsey tried to sell his gospel music to churches, he was rebuffed. The churches didn’t like how he infused sacred music with blues and jazz. His music didn’t align with the conservative culture preachers were trying to promote. Dorsey had to return to composing and playing the blues in order to make a living.  But he kept working on his gospel-based music at the same time.

In August, 1932, Thomas Dorsey had gone to St. Louis where he was to be the featured soloist at a large church revival meeting.  His wife was in the last month of pregnancy with their first child.  While he was in St. Louis, he received a telegram.  Nettie had gone into labor and had died in childbirth … and the baby died too.  The man was overcome with grief.  It took many days before he could to pull himself together at all.  When he did, it was by playing piano.  And at the piano, about a month later, in the midst of all that grief, he wrote the most famous song of his musical career: “Precious Lord, Take My Hand.”  In the years to come, Dorsey continued writing songs for the church and influencing church music.  Writer of around 800 songs in his career, he became known as the father of gospel music in America.

The circumstances of our lives don’t always go in the direction we envision. We have hopes. We have dreams.  We have plans and ambitions.  And then things don’t go as we plan.  Life takes turns in directions we didn’t expect.  Sometimes everything comes crashing down around us. Our lives collapse in on top of us.  Problems pile up to where we can’t see past them.  We find ourselves shaken, confused, wondering what happened, wondering where was God.   We so often don’t see what God plans to do for us and with us as he shepherds us through the valley of the shadow of death or whatever turmoil he lets us go through.  What we do know is that God intends always what is good for us, that in all things he is working for our good – for our eternal good, in line with his eternal purposes (cf. Romans 8:28).  God never abandons those whom he has called as his children.  Our precious Lord is always working to bring us home to himself, bring us back to his promises, to anchor us in the love and hope that are never in doubt – in the Messiah, in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Thomas Dorsey wanted a career in popular music.  The Lord chastened him severely, and turned him toward a deepness of faith and toward writing songs that convey the comfort of the gospel – songs that have greatly benefited Christ’s church.

There’s a similar sort of story in the Bible – the story of Joseph.  When he was 17, in the fabulous dreamcoat that he’d received from his father, Joseph had fabulous dreams about his future.  People would be bowing down to him.  He was going to be somebody! It all sounded so amazing and exciting.  Little did Joseph know then what his future actually would hold.  His brothers abused and mistreated him.  They dumped him in a pit and then sold him off like they would a cow or a donkey.  He served as a slave.  He was accused of a crime he didn’t commit.  He languished away in prison.  Ultimately, he did end up in a position of power and authority – but only after the Lord had worked hard on his heart and soul through deeply painful experiences in his life.

In the end, when Joseph’s brothers found themselves in a desperate position—coming to Egypt for food because Egypt was the only place that had food—Joseph tested them to see that God had been working on their hearts and souls too.  They didn’t recognize him after all those years and in his Egyptian appearance.  When Joseph revealed to them who he was, he made it clear he held no grudges against them.  He saw how God had guided the path of all their lives up to that point, and trusted that God would be the hope of their people (and all people) for the future.

Today’s Bible reading is Genesis 50:15-21 – from the years in Egypt after Joseph had revealed himself to his brothers and the whole clan of Israel had moved down to Egypt.
When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph holds a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrongs we did to him?” So they sent word to Joseph, saying, “Your father left these instructions before he died: ‘This is what you are to say to Joseph: I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly.’ Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father.” When their message came to him, Joseph wept.
His brothers then came and threw themselves down before him. “We are your slaves,” they said.
But Joseph said to them, “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.  So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children.” And he reassured them and spoke kindly to them.

  • Prayer:
    Heavenly Father, teach us to trust you through the whole course of our lives – not only when things are going well or in ways we hoped or planned, but also when life is a struggle, when things go horribly wrong, when tragedies strike us.  You hold us in your hand.  You guide us by your Spirit through your Word.  Keep us in your care, and help us to confess that whatever happens, you will be working in all things to bring about good for us as your children – with the ultimate good being that we join you in life eternal. In Jesus’ name.  Amen.
Posted by David Sellnow
24
Dec
2019

Not dead, but sleeping

Originally published on the Electric Gospel on May 27, 2019.

On this Memorial Day, I think back to the funeral of a military officer a number of years ago. I’ve adapted words that I shared on that day for the benefit of other families who have lost a loved one in military service.

This is for God’s glory

by David Sellnow

Jesus had a very dear friend named Lazarus.  Lazarus’ sisters, Mary and Martha, also were very dear to Jesus. They lived in Bethany, a short distance outside Jerusalem. Jesus had been a guest in their home. They were followers of his. They believed his teachings and knew of his miracles. They relied on him as their Savior. So it was natural for them, when they had a problem, to turn to Jesus for help.

Lazarus had become ill. His sisters immediately sent word to Jesus. “Lord, behold, he for whom you have great affection is sick” (John 11:3). They assumed Jesus would come quickly; they knew Jesus could heal their brother.

However, when Jesus heard that Lazarus was sick, “he stayed two days in the place where he was” (John 11:6). In the meantime, Lazarus died. By the time Jesus came to Bethany, Lazarus had been in the grave already for a couple of days. Martha went out to meet him and said, “Lord, if you would have been here, my brother wouldn’t have died” (John 11:21).

Think of the pain and bewilderment that Lazarus’ sisters felt: “Jesus, you knew and loved this man; he knew and loved you. We told you he was sick. We called for you to come because we were in trouble. Yet you let him die. You dawdled for two days while he was breathing his last. Why, Lord, why? How could you do this? Why didn’t you help? You had the power to stop this, and instead you let our brother die! Why? Why?”

Dear families of those who have given their lives in the service of our country: You’ve ve likely asked yourselves similar questions concerning the loss of a loved one. “Why, Lord, why?” Such questions are never easily answered. But when we face a tragic and untimely death, the loss of someone who is beloved of Christ, the words and actions of Christ when Lazarus died give us some insight. There are three key things Jesus said and did at that time. When he first heard that Lazarus was sick, Jesus had said, “This sickness is not to death, but for the glory of God, that God’s Son may be glorified by it” (John 11:4). Then, speaking to his disciples about Lazarus’ death, Jesus said, “Our friend, Lazarus, has fallen asleep, but I am going so that I may awake him out of sleep” (John 11:11). To Martha, Jesus also gave an absolute promise:  “Your brother will rise again. … I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will still live, even if he dies” (John 11:23,25). Finally, to prove his words, Jesus came to Lazarus’ tomb, had the stone rolled away, and called in a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” (John 11:43) – and the dead man came out of his grave, once again alive.

What Jesus did for Lazarus is not fiction. It is not fairy tale. It is fact. What Jesus did for Lazarus he will do for each of his people who fall asleep in him. Yes, he calls it “falling asleep.” Several times Jesus used that expression to refer to people who died. Sometimes he was laughed at for speaking that way.  Once, at a wake where mourners were wailing over the death of a young girl, Jesus said, “Why do you make an uproar and weep? The child is not dead, but is asleep” (Mark 5:39). The mourners laughed and ridiculed him. But for Jesus, waking someone from death is no more difficult than waking someone from sleep. Death is not the end. It is a temporary state from which God, by his mighty power, will raise us up again. He will reconstruct each person, whether buried in the ground or scattered on the seas or blown apart in battle. The limits of our human mind may object to such a thought, but it us God’s truth. He guarantees it. And he has the authority and ability to do it. He did it for Lazarus, whom he dearly loved. He will do so for your loved ones too. He will raise each of us from our graves. We wait for the coming of the Last Day, when God’s promise to resurrect every one of us in Christ will be fulfilled.

The part of any death that’s hardest for us to understand is how such a thing could be for God’s glory. In Lazarus’ case, God’s purpose was seen rather quickly, within a few days. Jesus had said that Lazarus’ sickness would not end in death, and that God would be glorified. And so it was. The sickness brought about death, but the story didn’t end there. Death was reversed. The miracle was witnessed by many. The Son of God, Jesus, revealed his grace and power. The reputation of Jesus’ name grew, and people put their faith in him more and more.

Where is the glory of God for those whose lives are cut short prematurely today? God’s glory is there, but it is painfully hard for us to see. Those loved by the Lord live on in the eternal light of the Savior. But at present, all we see is the emptiness that is left behind. We grieve. We feel their absence. And that hurts. For the families of lost service members, when they died, you died too. You died on the inside. And you didn’t get to wake up looking into the loving eyes of your Lord in heaven, as your departed loved one did. God has asked you to stay behind in this world, now especially bleak for you without your beloved in it. But the glory of God still will be revealed in this. God, who has crushed your spirit, will strengthen and support you and revive you again. He will uplift your soul. You will never be the same; your lives will be changed. But God will give you reasons to hope and will work to draw you closer to him than you’ve been before. His purpose in life, in death, in all things, is to bring each of us nearer to him in faith. He has a plan, even when horrible tragedy strikes, to bring about blessing for each of his children. Bu remember–he counts blessings in spiritual, not material terms. What matters most to God is increasing and deepening your reliance on him, so that your hearts will be ready on the day he chooses to call you home to himself, to go and be with him, where your loved one now has gone.

You dear family members who are remembering lost loved ones, I know you know these things. I know that your faith in your Savior is still alive and breathing. Nevertheless, even as you hang onto hope in Jesus, you still will mourn. And no one can fully know how you feel. Friends  and acquaintances will have a sense of your loss, but few can relate to the depth of loss you’ve experienced. And you yourselves have never felt heartache as severe as this. But keep the faith and take courage in this: There is someone who has experienced the loss of his One and Only Son. The Father in heaven watched his own Son, Jesus, die a bloody, heart-wrenching, horrible death, nailed to a cross in agony. It was a death so devastating that the sun stopped shining when it happened. But it was not a death without purpose. Jesus’ death was for our ultimate and eternal good. By his death, Christ became our Redeemer from death. He has taken our lost loved ones on angels’ wings to be with him. And God will fully, miraculously restore the bodies of all his people in glory. We have hope in a Savior who will do these things for us and a Father who understands the pain we feel. We believe that God is glorious and great and good, and that the only reason he allows death to occur to us is as a way to usher us into the glory and greatness and goodness of heaven. That is where those who have died in the Lord have gone. By faith, that is where we will follow also.

Dear God, make it so.

Posted by Electric Gospel