relationship

Jan

2020

A parent’s prayer for a graduate

Originally published on The Electric Gospel on May 29, 2018

A Parent’s Prayer for a Graduate

by David Sellnow

Thinking of you, my child, and the fact that you’ve finished college, I have much in mind that I lay before the Lord in prayer. I hope you won’t mind that these thoughts ramble in no particular order as I write them for you to read and heaven to hear. I know the Spirit above doesn’t mind, because “the Spirit himself makes intercession for us with groanings which can’t be uttered” (Romans 8:26).

I pray you will hang onto Jesus, to anchor your soul in the firmness of his life and truth, and to lift you up in hope each day. When I pray that you hang onto Jesus, I’m not thinking so much of the formalness of this or that church—though church and formalness can be good spiritual disciplines. My primary prayer is that your heart remains connected to Jesus like a branch growing from a vine. Jesus pictured it that way: “As the branch can’t bear fruit by itself unless it remains in the vine, so neither can you, unless you remain in me. I am the vine. You are the branches” (John 15:4,5).

I pray you will hang onto memories—not only of college years but also of childhood. Relish and treasure the good things you’ve experienced, the laughs, the joys, the interesting happenings. Remember times of blessing with family and friends. But also remember the struggles, the challenges, the mistakes. Don’t dwell on them in regret, but learn and grow from them as you take your past and present self into the future.

In that vein, I pray you will see success as an inner, spiritual quality more than as a financial quantity or as a résumé of accomplishments. You may never win a Nobel Prize or a Tony Award or any noteworthy prizes or awards. But being an everyday person in an everyday life is okay also. And you may not make millions or even tens of thousands, but if you have enough to survive, and you maintain integrity in your heart, that is enough. A person’s life “doesn’t consist of the abundance of the things which he possesses” (Luke 12:15). Do your best to succeed where you are, in whatever you are doing, remembering that the truest reward is richness of the soul, being filled with a love and eagerness for those around you.I pray that the path you have chosen for your career will be a blessing to you, and that you will always find satisfying work in your field. But if it happens anywhere along the line that you have to accept a position other than your ideal, I pray that you’ll be able to make the best of that too. The great apostle Paul sometimes needed to support himself by making tents. Sometimes you do what is needed rather than what is desired. Through it all, preserve your character and resolve. “Better is a little with righteousness, than great revenues with injustice” (Proverbs 16:8).

I pray you will network well, connecting with people. That isn’t always easy, because people and relationships can be challenging. An existential philosopher, in a famous line from a play, said: “Hell is other people.” It’s easy to feel the way he felt. But at the same time, we need other people. We need networks—and not just the social media kind that exist online. No person is an island. And even if some were islands, islands need connections to other places in order to meet their needs and access opportunities. I pray that you’ll get along with others in your career and community in beneficial ways. “If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men” (Romans 12:18).

I also pray that as far as you yourself are concerned, you will be comfortable being who you are, where you are, and how you are in life. Don’t let yourself worry whether you fit in with others or line up with expectations others may have. Life doesn’t need to be a game of keeping up with the Joneses or the Kardashians or whomever else. Allow yourself plenty of leeway for finding your own way. Accept that there will be changes in plans, redirections and do-overs. Remember that you are unique, that you are God’s workmanship, and he has prepared in advance many good things for you to do (cf. Ephesians 2:10). In whatever direction you go, go with confidence in yourself and in the Father above, who cares for you.

I pray you will do better in life than us, your parents. I don’t mean that necessarily in financial or career terms, though that would be nice too. Mostly I mean for you to have happiness, stability, and contentedness to a greater degree than we have evidenced. Though we’ve tried to devote ourselves to you in love and leadership, parents are never perfect examples. For the best sort of leadership, always look toward the Lord himself. “Be therefore imitators of God, as beloved children. Walk in love, even as Christ also loved us and gave himself up for us” (Ephesians 5:1,2).

I pray you will be honest with yourself and with others. I know, I know, I haven’t always been that way myself. I’ve put up false fronts in public and said other things in private. But in the end, that only leads to internal and external conflict. Better to be the way that Jesus described Nathanael, when choosing him as a disciple: “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom is no deceit” (John 1:47).

I pray you will remain a positive force for good in the world, even when this world seems to have little that is good and positive in it. When you look around and see perpetual crises and conflicts, refugees forced to flee their homes and lands, children growing up in poverty and hunger, and all the other woes of this world, it’s easy to give up on making the world a better place. But remember that the same Bible that prophesied there will always be “wars and rumors of war” (Matthew 24:6), and that “you always have the poor with you” (Matthew 26:11), also said to us: “As we have opportunity, let’s do what is good toward all men” (Galatians 6:10), and urged us to offer “petitions, prayers, intercessions, and givings of thanks” for everyone around us (1 Timothy 2:1). Keep striving to do what you can in your own little corner of the world to make an impact there, even when it’s hard to see much change occurring in the wider world beyond you. Don’t give up on being someone who loves your neighbor, even when the wider neighborhood of the world seems not to notice or care.

I pray you won’t be surprised or devastated when trouble comes along, when plans get derailed, when obstacles block your path. In this world we will have trouble, Jesus said (cf. John 16:33). So if you do encounter painful difficulties, don’t despair. Not all of life will be rosy, and even when there are roses, they always come with thorns attached. So hang onto hope though thick and thin. Endure hardship when it happens, be disciplined by it, grow stronger from it. “All chastening seems for the present to be not joyous but grievous; yet afterward it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Hebrews 12:11).

I pray you will savor and be strengthened by the simple pleasures you can find in life—a refreshing beverage, a relaxing evening at home, a walk in the park. I hope too that your life may have its fill of exciting moments and bigger adventures. But when you can’t get away for exotic vacations or extensive travels, I pray you’ll be able also just to appreciate the life that you have, wherever it may be. Just say, “Feed me with the food that is needful for me” (Proverbs 30:8) – that is enough.

Finally, I pray you will remember where home is. You are all grown up and away from us now. But we remain your parents always, and maintain concern for you constantly. You still may need us for advice, for reassurance of love, or just for a hug or a chat. Don’t stay away from home or off the phone from us for too long at a time. And even if you are at a point where you don’t need much from us, we very much need you and yearn to see you and hear from you. So don’t forget dear old mom and dad. As the Bible urges, “Listen to your father who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother when she is old” (Proverbs 23:22). You are our most precious treasure on this earth, and we are always praying for you!

******************

Just released on Kindle Direct Publishing: Faith Lives in Our Actions: God’s Message in James Chapter 2. Get the eBook for your Kindle, or you can download the free Kindle app to read on any device.

Jan

2020

A mother’s letter

Originally published on The Electric Gospel on July 22, 2017.

A letter to my son

Author’s name withheld for privacy.

A mother penned this letter to her son, a young adult who has been through much and has pulled away from church. May we all heed this appeal to love — and forgive — one another more fully in the church.

********************

My dearest son,Many years ago, before you or your sisters were born, your father and I took a Bible class through church. I am not sure what the topic was, but I will never forget the statement the pastor said. He said, “I can’t wait to get to heaven, as I have so many questions for God.” All I could think was there must be something wrong with me, as I have no questions. I felt that when I get to heaven all I will say is, “Thank you.” … Boy has that changed.

We have been through so much, and life has certainly not been easy for you, most of all. My question for God now would be, “Why did my beautiful children, especially my son, have to suffer so much?” I know that we were never promised a ‘charmed’ life as Christians. In fact, we were told the opposite. As Christians we will suffer for our faith. But why you, my sweet boy?

When your Christian friends were cyber-bullying you, and a Christian mother was talking about you negatively to others, it was nearly backbreaking. You chose then to stop going to church. You felt that if this is how Christians act, then you didn’t want any part of it. It is hard to argue with that; but blaming sinful people for their sins is one thing, blaming God is another.

I know that you have faith. We still talk about God, but not enough. You know that God loves you. You have gone through hell and back … but the main point is that you came back. You couldn’t have done that without God’s help. God has given you a new life, a new outlook, a new hope. He has never left you. You have started over with so many things in your life to get to this point; it is time to start over with your attitude about those people that hurt you. Yes, they were and still are Christians; but they are also sinners. God has forgiven even the worst sins that you and I have ever done. Don’t you think that it is time to forgive them?

I was angry too. But, that anger is sinful when we hold onto it, when we use it as a punishment. Forgiveness may be selfish, a way to make ourselves feel better, but it is also necessary to show love to God’s people. Jesus’ beloved disciple John said, “Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him. This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters” (1 John 3:15-16). My only real job on this earth was to make sure you and your sisters get to heaven. I want to be with you someday in eternity. Find forgiveness in your heart and come back to church.

All my love,

Mom

Dec

2019

Forgive and Forget

Originally published on the Electric Gospel on December 2, 2016.

Forgive and forget

by Annalisa Schuette

How long can you hold a grudge? If you’re anything like me, a grudge can be held for a long time. Some grudges are even held so long that the people involved have forgotten what it’s about.

You hear the phrase “forgive and forget” everywhere, but what does it mean? You might wonder how you can do this. God’s Word tells us how; he responds: “I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more” (Jeremiah 31:34). God is speaking about the Israelites in this passage. God continually forgave the Israelites, even after they turned away time after time. Yes, he disciplined them, even sending them into exile. But his aim always was loving and caring for them. He promised to forget their sin. The same God who is omniscient somehow forgets sin. We, as Christians, ought to follow this example, but it is so difficult for us as sinful human beings to forget the sins of others. We enjoy the feeling of power that we have dangling someone’s sin in front of them. We hold people’s sins against us over them. We feel better about ourselves comparing our sins to theirs.

This is not what God wants us to do. In Ephesians, Paul tells us, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). If we truly forgive someone, we have already forgotten the sin. There is no more bringing up of past offenses. No revenge is planned. You no longer feel anger towards the person or about the event. Forgiveness is a gift from God, so precious that Christ died on the cross to give it to us. We will treat it as the precious gift that it is and not take it for granted. Jesus said, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15). God wants us to forgive others.

This does not mean, however, that we should allow ourselves to be taken advantage of. In Genesis, we learn about Joseph. Joseph was abused by his brothers. Yet when they came to him for help, he gave them the aid they needed, but he did not tell them who he truly was. He tested them first. He made them prove that they cared for Benjamin, the youngest brother. When Joseph’s servants found his silver cup in Benjamin’s bag, Judah begged that he be taken as a slave instead of Benjamin. The brothers proved their repentance with actions. Then Joseph had a joyful reunion with his brothers. He forgave them for their sins against him and provided for them.

God does not want us to be abused and walked all over because we forgive and forget when the offender is not truly repentant of his or her sins. We want to bring offenders to repentance so that they change their ways. We deserve to be respected. We want to see a change of heart. But when we see that others are truly repentant and have changed their ways, then we will forgive and forget.

Stop holding grudges and ask God to help you forgive. He has forgiven you for so many sins, so you can forgive those who have sinned against you. Don’t allow yourself to be taken advantage of, but don’t hold sins against others. Reflect the love that God has shown you.

Dec

2019

Letter to a pregnant teen

Originally published on The Electric Gospel on November 6, 2016.

Letter to a pregnant teen

by Maggie Schmudlach

In a college Bible course that I taught, we worked through Spirit-inspired letters to churches and individuals — the epistles of the New Testament. I asked students to write spiritual letters of their own, usually thinking of a particular individual or sample individual as the intended audience. Maggie wrote the caring letter below with a pregnant teenager in mind, someone with a strong Christian background. The girl did not want anyone to find out about the pregnancy, and because she was afraid it would wreck her plans for the future, she contemplated aborting her baby.

Here is the letter Maggie wrote …

Dear sister in Christ,

I am very sorry to hear about the struggles you are facing at this time in your life. Although it may not seem clear to you right now, God has a plan for you and your baby. We are assured of this by our loving Lord: “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

We know from Scripture that life starts at conception. We confess to God, “You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:13,14). The world looks at a baby in the womb as just another part of the mother’s body and believes she has the right to choose what do with it. They do not see the unborn child as a human life until the baby is further developed. Abortion is seen as an easy way out for women who don’t want a baby or feel they are not ready. Since abortion ends a pregnancy, it also ends a life. The 5th Commandment tells us that murder is a sin. Life is an amazing gift from God. He loves your child and already has a plan for him/her.

I know you are ashamed of the whole affair, since you are thinking about ending the pregnancy. But, instead of trying to hide a mistake by committing an even more tragic action, you can turn to God and the love of your Christian friends. God is forgiving. Paul’s words in Ephesians 4:3-5 provide a great reminder of God’s love for us, even when we sin. The Word says, “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” So, repent of your sin; God, in his forgiveness, is waiting with open arms.

Starting a conversation with your family and friends about this situation may seem scary, but pray to God for strength. He will help you. It will be difficult, and you might get the feeling that you are alone. So, if you would like me to go with you when you talk with your family, I would be happy to be there for you and offer my support. But, also remember that Jesus never leaves your side. He promises, “Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).

With everything that is going on in your life right now (graduation, college, this situation), no doubt you have been tempted to be stressed and worried about the coming days, weeks, and months. However, Jesus tells us that we do not have to worry about the future because he will take care of us. He says, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life… Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they” (Matthew 6:25-26)?

Always remember that Jesus holds you safe today and will continue to hold you safe tomorrow. You can rest peacefully in the comfort that Jesus is the ultimate friend who loves you unconditionally and will never leave your side.

In Christ,

Maggie

Dec

2019

Journeying toward forgiveness

Originally published on The Electric Gospel on September 20, 2015. In a summer class, participants were asked to write a doctrinal or personal article, pondering some aspect of our faith in Christ. Desiree Alge penned a very personal account and has graciously granted permission for me to share her story on The Electric Gospel blog. I deeply admire Desiree for her openness and willingness to talk about difficulties in life and overcoming them through Christ.

**********************

Forgiveness — My Journey

by Desiree Alge

When children wrong their friends or their family, they are taught to apologize and ask for forgiveness. The trouble we find, though, is that it is simple to say the words, but to actually mean them is a bigger task. Sure, everyone makes mistakes, but coming clean and admitting the wrong you’ve done takes much more courage. And even harder is the challenge of forgiveness.

Sometimes I wonder if my mother was ever taught this fundamental lesson. After a rough childhood, she chose to follow the same path as her parents, with alcohol and drugs consuming her life. This vicious cycle led her to be these same people she hated. She became a wife and a mother at sixteen, divorced at eighteen, and was sent to prison several times in her young life. Because of the custody battles, I was sent back and forth between homes until I was six years old. During those years, I was left alone for days, stranded to take care of my baby brother and sister. I was surrounded by parties with alcohol, drugs, and drunk men. I dreaded the days my grandma dropped me off with my mother, and anxiously awaited her arrival to take me home with her. Even years after, my mom bribed me with gifts, but always failed to show up after I’d be waiting on the porch for hours. I felt let down, alone, and unworthy.

I never realized how hurt I was until I became older. Until recently, I hadn’t spoken or seen my mother in over ten years! Our first conversation left me bitter and angry. It contained no apologies or even a hint of regret. I caught myself thinking, “It’s impossible to forgive someone when they don’t even care!”

As I was contemplating all of the mean names I could call my mother, my mind led me to the cross. If Christ had this same attitude towards me as I did towards my mom, I would be sunk. There have been so many times in my life where I’ve been defiant, knowing right from wrong, yet choosing the wrong path. I’ve also ignored repentance, thinking that, “I’m forgiven anyways, so what’s the big deal?” If God decided to forgive only based on apologies received, I would have a lot of sins still on my slate. If Jesus forgives all of the terrible sins that I’ve committed, then who am I to withhold forgiveness from a fellow sinner in desperate need of God’s love?

I am human. I am sinful. I hold bitterness in my heart. I don’t want to be a prisoner to my mother or to resentment. I don’t want her to have this hold on me. Although I may feel like I’m punishing her by withholding forgiveness, I’m actually only hurting myself. The path to heal bitterness is through forgiveness.

No one deserves for their errors to be wiped clean — neither me nor my mother. We are on the same level of sin, no matter the earthly opinion. Whether I’m disrespectful or a liar, I deserve the same eternal punishment just like someone who neglected and abused her children. The words that stem from “forgive” are mentioned in the Bible 127 times and the concept is written many more! It is obviously a beautiful message that God wanted us to know and to live. Because of God’s forgiveness and grace, we receive eternal life! In Ephesians, it says: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). Why wouldn’t we want to share that peace with others?

Dec

2019

Being Christ to our neighbors in the city

Originally published on The Electric Gospel on August 11, 2015. Henry Tyson wrote this powerful testimony in connection with his ministry in Milwaukee WI. He passionately urges all of us, in every city and town and village, to be living witnesses for Jesus to those among whom we live — to the communities we are called to serve in the name of Christ.

******************************

Living as Christians in Milwaukee’s Central City

by Henry Tyson

How is it possible that there can be so many Christians and churches in Milwaukee’s central city and yet the church seems powerless in the face of segregation, poverty, and crime? What can we say about the life of Christian and what such a life will look like in a city so gripped with ungodly behavior? From a biblical standpoint, one can see that the life of a Christian in Milwaukee’s central city – in the face of all that we see – will be marked by extreme joy, increasing holiness, radical love, and urgent, prayerful solitude, all to the glory of God.

Satan has laid claim to this city by leading people away from the Lord and thoroughly destroying the fabric of traditional families and communities. The resulting chaos enables Milwaukee to lay claim to the ignoble titles of most segregated city in America, city with the highest incarceration rates among African Americans, an extremely high homicide rate, and one of the highest rates of child poverty in the richest nation on earth. If Christ were a Milwaukeean today, what would his ministry look like? Where would we find him? What would people make of him? Surely we would find him joyful in demeanor, radical in love, urgent and prayerful in solitude, and fruitful in his ministry.

In his first letter, the apostle Peter explained why the life of a Christian will be a life filled with joy. Following a clear and concise explanation of the pure gospel, Peter wrote, “Though you have not seen Christ, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls” (1 Peter 1:8-9). The “salvation of your souls” is in reference to the Christian’s movement from eternal death to eternal life as described by Paul: “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus” (Romans 3:23-24). Therefore, the life of a Christian is filled with joy regardless of events or circumstances, because we have been justified by faith and our salvation is certain. This is not something that we have to wait for but it is something that we have already received. For this reason alone, the life of a Christian will be marked by a length and breadth of joy that cannot be understood by the world.

In addition to joyfulness, the life of Christian will be marked by increasing holiness. What does this mean? It means that the life of a Christian, as he or she matures, will be increasingly identified with the life of the Lord Jesus and therefore increasingly look like the life of the Lord Jesus. The apostle Paul got at the heart of the matter when he wrote: “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:1-2). The process of being “transformed by the renewing of your mind” is the process of sanctification – the process by which the Holy Spirit shapes the Christian’s life into a oneness with Christ.

The great 20^th century theologian, Oswald Chambers, captured this wonderfully when he assured his readers that “sanctification does not mean anything less than the holiness of Jesus being made mine manifestly,” and “it is his patience, his love, his holiness, his faith, his purity, his godliness, that is manifested in and through every sanctified soul” (Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest). The Christian life therefore — in Milwaukee and at any time and in any place — is a life that increasingly reflects the holiness of Christ.

It is this concept of increasingly becoming and reflecting the holiness of Christ that mandates that the life of a Christian in a broken city and a hurting world will be marked by radical love. Martin Luther King, Jr., understood the radical love of Christ when he wrote from Birmingham City Jail, “Was not Jesus an extremist for love – ‘Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, pray for them that despitefully use you’” (Letter from Birmingham City Jail)? Dr. King understood that “Jesus love” goes far beyond the usual interpretations and extends as far as loving enemies and blessing those who insult us. Further evidence of Christ’s radical love is found in Jesus’ tendency to hang out with sinners (Mark 2), his willingness to break social norms and talk to a Samaritan woman (John 4), and his willingness to forgive the very men who were conducting his execution (Luke 23). And for those who doubt the radical nature of Christ, perhaps it is worth considering his very death – a wicked, lonely, brutal death that he chose out of obedience to the Father and love of mankind.

What sort of actions, then, does radical love display in the life of a Christian? It will certainly look different from one to another but it will always be radical. It might be radical in how much one gives to the poor, or where one chooses to live, or how much time and energy one sacrifices for children, or the boldness with which one speaks against the moral depravity of 21^st century America. Certainly, the life of a Christian in our hurting world will look nothing like the pursuit of the American dream, for the American dream is contrary to the holiness of Christ. Indeed the natural reaction of the world to the radical love of Christ will be to persecute the Christian and view him or her as someone strange and different. Peter identified this reality in his first epistle when he referred to the friends to whom he was writing as “aliens and strangers in the world” (1 Peter 2:11). The life of a Christian, therefore, is on track and appropriate when he or she completely identifies with Christ and self-describes as an alien and stranger in the world. This is the natural outcome of the radical love of Christ.

When the life of a Christian is full with a glorious and inexpressible joy, is increasingly holy, and responds to the world with an exhausting, radical Christian love, the Christian life — like the life of Christ himself — will be drawn toward and indeed will depend on times of solitude and prayer. We note in Christ’s life, how in response to the beheading of John, the feeding of the five thousand, the fear of the disciples, the faithfulness and subsequent faithlessness of Peter, and the healing of the sick, that on more than one occasion, Jesus “went up on a mountainside by himself to pray” (Matthew 14). So engaged is the Christian worker in the life and activities of Christ, that he or she will, by both desire and need, find himself or herself in regular solitude and prayer. Just as Jesus needed this time to connect with the Father, so the Christian worker needs this time to connect with Christ and the heavenly Father. The Christian life is not just praying in church or at bedtime. The Christian will, in the words of Paul, “pray continually” (1 Thessalonians 5:16). Regular times of solitude and prayer will be a mark of the Christian life in the central city.

The Gospels and the books of the New Testament paint a wonderful picture of the life of Christ, the lives of the earliest church workers, and provide a clear road map for modern day Christians. In a city with so much hurt, so much divisiveness, so much ungodly behavior, it is easy for Christians to retreat to their homes and churches and disengage from the world. But we must not. Instead, we stride forward and exhibit the glorious joy that comes through our justification by way of the cross, the holiness that comes through sanctification, the radical, engaging love of Christ, and constant times of prayer and solitude that fill us up and draw us ever closer to oneness with Christ. This is the life of a Christian in Milwaukee’s central city.

Dec

2019

Do we truly love each other in the church?

Originally published on The Electric Gospel on June 26, 2015.

In a religion course that I taught, I asked participants to say something in a personal way about the church — either in the form of an essay or in poetry or song or by an artistic creation. They had much freedom of what form their words or images would take. I received many thoughtful and beautiful pieces. One of the most striking testimonies came from a dear soul who came from the Caribbean island nation of St. Lucia to study in the United States. She wrote in urgent, stream-of-consciousness fashion. Evodia evokes our heartfelt response. She speaks of struggles within what is supposed to be the loving community of the church. How often within the body of Christ, the church, do we leave individual members feeling similar aches and distress? How often do we forget what Christ’s apostle urged of us?

By the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. … Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. (Romans 12:3-5, 10-16).

I pray you will appreciate Evodia’s honest expressions of hurt and hope … and that we all find greater hope and love in community with one another. This is a longer item here on The Electric Gospel blog, but well worth your time.

Running on Empty

by Evodia Cassius

I wish I were able to truly express how I feel. This my sixth attempt to write this essay and the words still do not pour out of me naturally. I am hesitant and unsettled. I guess my title “Running on Empty” is proving itself to be true on many accounts. Apart from the five failed attempts at this paper, I also have two failed poetry attempts and two failed paintings. Honestly the paintings were not failures, they just do not accurately express my story. Neither did the poetry or the other writing attempts. Hence this blog entry … this series of blog entries. This real-life talking style about my failed successes and empty full life. The irony is painful. As I write, the butterflies in my stomach seem not to enjoy the frenzy in my head because they are trying their best to escape. This is my story, my blog, my irony.

Insanity

Shy? Afraid? Unsure? Quitter, deserter, pitiful coward, downer … these are not me. So why do I feel like it is becoming second nature to be all these things? Why do such attributes seem to be the very essence that makes up this temporary dwelling in which my soul lives? Why has living become so hard? Why do I feel defeated before I even attempt something? And more, why do I keep trying if I know that the outcome will be the same? I am beginning think that I MISSED SOME IMPORTANT LESSON that God attempted to teach me, so as a result I go through and do the same things over and over again expecting a change. The very definition of insanity.

Broken

Helpless, needy, clingy, desperate, attention-seeking … these are not me. But someone said even though you glue the pieces back together, you can still see the cracks. Someone else said once it is broken—though you may make the unit whole again—the element is now weaker than it originally was. If these theories are true, what can be said for something that is repeatedly broken and smashed? Does it not stand to reason that one day like Humpty Dumpty the pieces will not be able to be put back together again? I wear a mask. A façade, a camouflage, if you would like to call it that. Something that hides the cracks and the holes where the pieces that once were are now lost. Yes I admit it, I am broken. … And just when I think that by some miracle I am healed and whole, something bumps me over again, reminding of how weak my structure is, of how fragile I have grown over the years. Of how unstable I really am.

Empty

Depressed, sad, lonely, losing faith? These are not me. A priest once told me that questions do not equal lack of faith. I agreed; it was more my curious nature that drove the questions. But when the questions have been answered and yet still they linger or they resurface, a door is opened. A door that allows more things to come in, but not go out. This door brings past hurts and darkness creeping back in. Slowly but surely, the once brightly-painted room is overcome with a darkness, and the fear is that all the light will be gone.

“What brought all this about?” you may ask. God, the devil, myself? That is an excellent question. You see, I had thought not too long ago that life was splendid. Grand with images of butterflies and rainbows behind every corner. Allow me to explain what I believe happened.

Seeing the light

You know that feeling when some startling revelation occurs, when a conspiracy is uncovered, when some big holes are poked into something you thought was all good? That feeling you get of deep despair and confusion and a stomach ache that you cannot explain? That is the feeling that I felt. That is what I experienced. I came to this unknown place with the best of intentions. I was told, “You will be among God-fearing people, people who believe in the same thing you believe. People who love God just as much as you do.” And that brought me face to face with a painful irony … I love God … but I don’t love you? The Bible itself asks how can you love someone you cannot see but hate the people you see. “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen” (1 John 4:20).

So which love is it? Which love will mine be? Which love will be in the hearts of those around me? It’s hard to come to terms with love within the church when the church has lost the love it had at first (Revelation 2:3). Where is love when your loyalty to God is measured on your attendance statistics at each and every religious service, and not on how you treat and relate to the people in your very presence? Where is love when you can have a conversation with someone now, and five minutes later not acknowledge their presence? Where is love when you are treated differently because you are different, or just because? When judgment is cast without knowledge of the person? It is sad. It is hurtful. It is infuriating.

I asked my mother, “How can they say they love God, my God, and behave the way they do? Is it just me? Am I the wrong one?” I pray almost constantly, “God, if I am at fault, help me see and help me change.” But it had gotten increasingly difficult to deal with life within the lukewarmness of my surroundings. Increasingly difficult to smile, to be, to live. A minister friend tells me, “You are exactly where God wants you to be.” And I need to believe this because it is the only thing that keeps me going at times. But is it true … or is it a means of pacification so I stop questioning things? I am not saying that I am the only person who struggles, and the Lord knows that my issues may be rather insignificant compared to others. So who am I to complain? But I do feel empty and low. I feel like a failure because I am not happy where I am. God has richly blessed me and all my endeavors; he always has. I cannot say that he has ever left my side. But where I am at the moment feels wrong … in my gut, in my soul. Sometimes if feels like everything around me is rejecting me, telling me constantly, “You do not belong. Something here is different, you are the odd one out, a foreigner that has infiltrated and is not wanted. A cancer. A poison.” I walk into a room and people go quiet. Conversations cease and people walk away. People’s attitudes towards me change overnight. I am not so self-centered to think that I am always the topic of conversation, but I am old enough to know when life is like high school all over again.

Should I stay in my room and brood or cry? That’s not me. I feel like I need to stifle myself and change to be accepted as one of the masses. That’s not me. I do not want to fit in, be one with all others, if being one of the masses means that I am no longer an individual but a drone. I want the respect I deserve. I deserve it not because of the color of my skin or the country of my origin, not because I am better than anyone else. I deserve respect as a child of God – not because I have not done anything to deserve that title. But the Lord has lavished his love on me and called me his own in Christ (1 John 3:1). And, I will remember, the Lord has called many others as his children too – people different from me, people not like me. And we owe each other love and respect as fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

Prayer

Lord, help what Paul prayed be true for me. Help what Paul prayed be true for those around me. Help us, within your body, your church, to be more and more filled with the love of Christ and with love for one another. …

I pray that out of his glorious riches, the Father may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:16-19).

Dec

2019

Don’t make life more difficult for those hurt by others’ sins

Originally published on The Electric Gospel on May 6, 2015.

A dear friend wrote the following thoughts about life as she had experienced it. Her message is something we in the church need to consider.

***********************

My Life as a Child of Divorce

Author’s name withheld

I am a product of divorce. It has surrounded me my entire life. As a child, it defined me. As an adult, it scares me. In the United States, an estimated fifty percent of marriages end in divorce. That means when you get married, there is a high chance it will fail. In our churches, we believe that there are two biblical causes for divorce: malicious desertion and marital unfaithfulness. The divorces that impacted me fell into such a category. It didn’t matter though. In the church I was treated differently because of them. My parents were divorced – so of course I must be a troubled child. At least that’s how everyone made me feel.

I was too young to remember my parents getting divorced. As I started school, however—a church-sponsored school—I started to notice that I was being treated differently than the other students. For one, I was new and the other kids just kind of looked at me funny. Second, I was always naughty. Maybe I played into the assumptions, sure. If I was going to get reprimanded, might as well get to enjoy what I would be scolded for. This was first grade. As school continued, it got worse. Although I did make friends, you would never hear me talk about my parents and their being divorced. I knew divorce was bad, and I would get embarrassed and worried for my parents spiritual lives when we would talk about the 6^th commandment in school. “You shall not commit adultery.” Divorce means adultery. It would click in my head, and I would sit there and not say anything about it in class. I sometimes wonder if my teachers ever noticed that it bothered me.

Time moved on and I ignored things and was still “talking too much” or “not listening.” I would dread the talk on commandments but school was school. It was normal.

In my 6^th grade year, my mom got married again. He was a great guy; my sister and I really liked him. But later, we found out he was a struggling drug addict. In 6^th grade, you are just turning into a teenager; you’re awkward, and you care way too much what your friends think. As selfish as it is, I didn’t think too much on the fact that my family was falling apart but more at the idea of my mom getting ANOTHER divorce. I was embarrassed and sad, wondering if my mom would be okay to go to heaven. I heard not a word from anybody in my church or school about it. It seemed it wasn’t to be talked about. I look back and wonder why no one could have made it clear to me that I was okay, that my sister was okay, that my mom was okay. This man’s drug addiction, which he chose over us in the long run, was him not doing his marital duties. He essentially deserted us. The comfort I would have had in hearing that sort of understanding from the church would have changed my life, I think. But no, I avoided having friends come over, avoided ever talking about my family. And when the 6^th commandment came around in class, I remember not wanting to go to school that day.

I went to school that day. No one clarified anything to me or comforted me or anything. To their credit, maybe they didn’t know I was struggling with such things, and maybe I should have asked. But what twelve-year-old is going to raise her hand in class at a religious school and say, “Is my mom’s divorce okay?” That would never happen.

Eventually I came to my senses a little. I looked into it myself and started putting things together. I realized, my mom’s divorce was biblically sound. Still, that didn’t mean I wasn’t treated differently. I went to a Christian high school, and not many people there had divorced or separated parents. Even though I started to get my school life on track and realized I didn’t have to be the wounded, naughty student, it didn’t stop certain things in my life. I had a serious boyfriend for about two years, who ultimately broke up with me because my parents were divorced. He said he “just couldn’t deal with it and felt like he could never marry me.” Couldn’t marry me … we were just kids in high school! But it showed me again how divorced persons are perceived as having committed some heretical sin. My boyfriend knew the whole story and still felt that way. It is infuriating.

Divorce is hard on children. As a small child and even as a teenager, dealing with your parents splitting and the conflict and assumptions around you – it is really hard. I always wanted to be the pastor’s daughter whom everyone loved and had “no problems.” As silly as that is, it was impossibly hard to think that you will always be looked at like you’re sinful because your parents are divorced.

God knows that mistakes are made. I’m not saying he approves or is okay with sin, but he knows we humans are sinful. Sometimes divorce can be looked at by some people as about the worst of sins. Why is that the case? One sort of sinner is not better than another. People who get divorced—even not for biblical reasons—can be forgiven. Our focus shouldn’t be on the stigma of certain sins, but on the repentance and faith of the sinner.

Now the real question is: What can we do about this? It goes further than just divorce. What about the people who struggle with other challenges and sins? People who are judged for their circumstances can be turned off by such judgment. I’m not saying to accept people in their sins, absolutely not. But we need to show patience and understanding. Both law and gospel need to be applied. Struggling sinners are forgiven because Jesus died for them.

Also, do not make assumptions. You do not know the story behind a divorce most of the time. Do not assume everyone who is divorced came to that position by pursuing sin. Some have been deeply hurt and sinned against. And we have no clue what is in another person’s heart. Approach persons with support and with loving words. That could be all they need to begin healing.

The point of this article is not to complain about how challenging my childhood was or how everyone around me handled things wrong. That is not true. Although my childhood had rough spots, it was not horrible. I am writing this to raise awareness of things that could be happening if we are open to helping one another. Life is hard; we are sinful people. What is most important—in fact, the ONLY thing that is ultimately important—is what Christ did for us. “God gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him may not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). Let us praise our Lord above for being a gracious loving God who forgives all sins. And let us seek to help and forgive each other, rather than making life even more difficult for those who’ve been affected by hurtful sins.

Dec

2019

Three little words

Originally published on The Electric Gospel on December 2, 2014.

When we say, “I love you,” do we mean it? Karla Kehl offers some thought on that subject – with a focus on the consistent reliability of God’s love.

*********************

I. Love. You.

by Karla Kehl

“I love you!” is a common phrase. How often have you heard this said? Many times, it seems we cannot say it enough to someone and other times we say it because we feel we have to, or merely to fill a moment of silence. Just think about the last time you said or heard, “I love you!” – a phrase that claims to say it all. What really was meant?

Let’s look at the phrase more closely. “I” is a simple enough word to understand. It tends to be the word we interject into our conversations even if the conversation isn’t about us. “I” becomes the subject we talk about the most, not necessarily because we are arrogant, but because we know the most about it. Other words, such as “me” and “my” are related and seem to stream out of our mouths more than all other words. Look at any story from a 10-year-old child. The writing will most likely begin every sentence with “I” in some way or form … and our perspective tends to stay that way as we age. When it comes right down to it, we are only concerned about number one: me.

Now let’s venture into the vast world of “love.” There are many kinds of love—agape (committed love), philia (brotherly love), eros (erotic love) , etc. Depending on the person we say the word “love” to, the meaning changes. But do we actually love the person? Many times we are tempted to think of our feelings when we think of people we love, not necessarily the person and their qualities. For instance, how many times has “I love your sense of humor,” or something similar, entered our conversations? What is the subject of that sentence? The subject is “I” and the verb is “love.” So really, we aren’t focused on the other person at all! Again, it’s all about number one and how that other person makes me feel. “I love your sense of humor” may well mean “I love that you make me laugh.”

And now let’s talk about “you.” Although the word “you” is used quite a bit in everyday language, it usually to refers to another person or group of people. Did you catch that? We are talking about people here. There is nothing more complex on the face of the earth than people. So it begs the question: When we say, “I love you,” are we saying we love the whole person and all the complexities and details we could possibly think of, even their faults?

The answer to all of these questions is simply: God is wonderful, humans are not. Jesus can say, “I love you” in perfection. You see, he is the subject of our lives and our salvation. When he says, “I,” he means it. After all, he is God, the ultimate number one. And God never minces words with “love.” If you could look at the Greek version of the New Testament, you’d discover that God has a specific purpose each time for the specific word for “love” that he chose to use.

As saved and redeemed children of our wonderful God, we are truly loved, even when we were dead in sin. And best of all, God loves all of us, our whole person, so much that in Christ he became human with us, lived a perfect life in our place, and then spread his arms out on the dreaded cross to die for us. And he rose again from death to claim the victory over sin, death, and especially the devil.

In the end, only God can say, “I love you” and truly mean it. This does not mean, however, that we should forget ever telling someone we love them or that we have to come up with a new phrase to tell people we love them. The beauty of the phrase is its simplicity—I’m not going to argue with that. It connects two people who really, truly love one another with only one word that says it all. Love is what connects people. The point is to think about what “I love you” really means and how much more powerful it is when our dear Lord says it to us as sinners … and how much more powerful our love for others is when the love of Christ is in our actions and words.

Because of the love of our gracious God, we will go to our heavenly home someday. How incredibly wonderful that will be! We can truly say God loves us and we love him!

Dec

2019

Protection from spiritual attacks

Originally published on The Electric Gospel on September 19, 2014 – an original poem by Brooke King.

Demons
by Brooke King

I need you now more than ever as my demons linger near
the familiar smell of recognition, that smell that death is near
recounting all those moments I sat upon his legs
shaken now and barely breathing, my soul for you it begs
take away these memories that haunt me in the day
the dread they bring, the pain it stings, they just won’t go away
wipe the tears that satiate each demonic tongue
take away their salty surplus and dry up every one

Hear me when I cry to you, do not turn your ear
bend down your gracious arm to me and pull me ever nearer
nestle me in your chest, a mere human in the dregs
curl me up in your arms, nestled like an egg
soothe me with your promises that you’ll forever stay
listen gingerly to me and answer when I pray
a second chance for life renewed, love on the horizon
let this be the moment when my life has just begun

In you my heart will not tremble, no longer does it fear
precious in your hands I am, one most treasured, dear
on firm ground you gently place me, stronger on my own
knowing with each step I take your hand will guide me on
keep me close by your side, along the narrow way
with you here beside me on this path, I will never stray
seeing only the light, the way, the truth, the Son
freely I can enjoy the grace because of what he’s done

So keep my focus on the horizon, never looking back
silence all my daunting demons, send them where you lack
loosen their unforgiving grip, their voices, on they groan
picking at my fragile heart, unthreading what’s been sewn
Nevermore will they linger while you are by my side
No, in fear they will surely tremble, despising you, they’ll hide
Keeping me in your comfort, an unmerited love and grace
Lord how blessed I surely am to linger in your embrace

A Parent’s Prayer for a Graduate

A letter to my son

Forgive and forget

Letter to a pregnant teen

Forgiveness — My Journey

Living as Christians in Milwaukee’s Central City

Running on Empty

I. Love. You.

Subscribe