roles

05
Sep
2022

Humility = Service (part 2)

For Labor Day, 2022

Be steadfast, immovable, always excelling in the work of the Lord, because you know that in the Lord your labor is not in vain (1 Corinthians 15:58).

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This post is a follow-up to last week’s post on Humility = Service.  The thoughts stemmed from readings for Pentecost 12:  Proverbs 25:6-7, Hebrews 13:1-8, 15-16, and Luke 14:1, 7-14.

Acknowledging our ability to be of service to others

As we consider, humility and service, a second point needs to be made. If you read the previous post, maybe my descriptions missed some of you. Quite likely, a number of you are not pushy or bossy or intrusive or insistent. You let others go ahead of you. You’re patient while waiting your turn. You are completely content to be the quiet person in the back of the room. You aren’t looking to be on center stage.  That may be just fine … but it also may be unhelpful. Let’s consider what can happen when you are too humble, too self-effacing, too willing to keep quiet on the sidelines.

I’ve seen humility go too far and impede godly service to one another. Too often, people who have gifts to serve and gifts to lead are asked to use those gifts, and they say, “Oh, no, not me. I can’t do that.”  They sound like Moses when he hesitated, saying, “O my Lord, please send someone else” (Exodus 4:13).

I remember a meeting of a board of elders at a congregation. It was suggested that the elders do more than have meetings. The proposal was that every other month–instead of just meeting around the table at the church–they would start with a prayer, then go out to scheduled appointments to visit with church members. The elders around the table turned pale as ghosts when the suggestion was made. Doing the actual work of ministering to others frightened them.

Or there was a woman in a congregation, someone others looked up to. Others would approach her for advice. She was spiritually well-grounded, and others could see that.  When her pastor asked her to take on a more formal role, as a deaconess in the congregation, she professed all sorts of humility and said she wasn’t worthy of such a role. Maybe that was okay. Maybe she didn’t need any official title. If she continued doing the mentoring she was doing when others approached her, that would still be good. But she needn’t have shied away from stepping up to higher responsibilities, when asked to do so for the good of others.

When someone calls upon you to “come on up” to a higher position of responsibility, or to a task of leadership to which you are particularly suited, are you ready to answer that call? Or will you let an excess of humility get in your way?

If you are called to come up to a higher place and serve others around you in your life, don’t wave a white flag of humility and say you’re not worthy.  It’s quite true that none of us are worthy by our own virtue to serve as ambassadors for Christ. But Christ, in his mercy, has given each of us gifts and calls each of us into unique roles of service. “If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly” (Romans 12:8 NLT).

This principle applies not just in your church life, such as the church examples I gave. Being ready to step up and serve applies daily in your personal life. Each of you has connections, situations, opportunities that arise day by day. When an occasion arises which calls you into action, that’s not a time for you to hide in humility and say, “Oh, it’s none of my business,” or, “Someone with more knowledge or skill should be the one to help.”  The situation is in front of you now. The friend or neighbor or family member is needing you now. Don’t pull back, afraid. Be open to others’ needs. Be ready to help as best you can. Most of all, just be. Be present. Be there for people when they need you.  When someone is calling out with a need, recognize that God may be calling you to step into action. Often those calls are not verbally expressed, but you know the need is there. Without being a busybody, you can offer yourself as a friend, as an ally in Christ. You can offer resources and referrals to other sources of help too. Look for those real-life opportunities to be Christ to your neighbor. “Who knows? Perhaps you have come to [the position you are in] for just such a time as this” (Esther 4:14).

Acting on behalf of others is a way of exercising proper humility. You don’t use humility as an excuse in such situations, backing away and ducking out.  You exercise humility by putting others’ needs ahead of your own, others’ comfort and care ahead of your own potential discomfort and fears. You use your time and your talents in the interests of others. Having humility and compassion means you’re not just looking out for yourselves.  Through your love and labor, you become humble and devoted servants to one another (cf. Galatians 5:13).

In your lives, what opportunities are presenting themselves where someone is saying, “Friend, come on up” to a higher place, to an added responsibility, to a role of helping or leading others? Keep your eyes and ears open for those opportunities. Keep your spiritual senses tuned in. Recognize that God is calling you to use your gifts in humble service to your neighbor. When you see someone hungry, you’ll be ready to give them food. When you see someone thirsty, you’ll give them something to drink. As Scripture urges (Hebrews 13:1-3), you will “let mutual love continue.” You will “show hospitality to strangers.” You will “remember those who are in prison, as though you were in prison with them.” You will do whatever you can to assist those who are feeling tortured (experiencing pain or suffering in their lives), ”as though you yourselves were being tortured” along with them.  You will “continually offer a sacrifice of praise to God” by doing good for others and by sharing yourself and what you have with others, “for such sacrifices are pleasing to God” (Hebrews 13:15-16).   You will welcome into your life “the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind”–those who cannot repay you–knowing “you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous” (Luke 7:13,14).  In doing even just the little things for those who seem the least significant or least influential in this world, you offer service to Christ, who says to you, “‘Truly I tell you, just as you” do these things for “the least of these who are members of my family,” you do it for me (cf. Matthew 25:35-40).  Amen.

Scripture quotations, except where otherwise indicated, are from the New Revised Standard Version Bible, copyright © 1989 National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

 

Posted by David Sellnow
24
Dec
2019

Women and Men in Relationship under Christ

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Originally published on the Electric Gospel on May 24, 2014.

When I originally began the Electric Gospel blog, it was to give voice to what I considered an important thought from a young woman who struggled through a relationship.  She had dated a man who didn’t understand what God wants of men as they relate to women.  This message returned to that theme, this time with a letter from another young woman, writing to her sister about what to seek in a relationship with a man.

A Letter to My Sister

Author’s name withheld by request

I need to tell you that I am sorry. You have endured countless trials over the last few years, and I have seen how hard each one has been for you. But I will be the first to admit that I have not always been there for you during the rough times. Even when I was present, I didn’t provide the support and comfort that you needed at the time. I wasn’t always willing or able to share your burdens, because I didn’t understand how you ended up in many of those situations.  I thought I knew what was best for you. I just couldn’t comprehend why you couldn’t see things the way I did. I wanted you to stop being so depressed. Instead of listening to you, understanding what you felt and discovering your needs, I tried to cheer you up. I tried to distract you and show you where to go next. When it comes down to it, I made it all about me.

It never should have been that way. I am sorry that I failed to sit with you, let you cry and listen to you. I’m sorry that I tried to fix you instead of help you.

Lately I have been working very hard to listen to you. I mean really listen to what you say and what you truly mean–rather than what I think you should mean. What I want to tell you now speaks to what is truly on your heart and mind. I am not telling you this because I just want the crying to stop or because I somehow need to say this for myself. I am telling you these things because I truly care about you and your future relationships.

I know you have trouble believing what the Bible has to say about women submitting to their husbands.  Christ’s apostle said, “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18).  You say that it shouldn’t be that way, because women should be equal to men. Women shouldn’t be held back or forced to go down the wrong road because of bum husbands. You think that a woman should be strong and independent.

I can understand where you are coming from. You have dated men who don’t respect you the way they should, who don’t understand your needs as a woman and who fail to value your unique gifts and perspectives. On top of that, all around us we see men who simply don’t live up to God’s expectations for their lives. In turn, we see women who pay for it.

I think there is a lot we are forgetting about here. Remember that the Bible has something to say to men, too. Paul also wrote in one of his letters, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).

Just as Christ loved the church.

Wow. Christ loved the church a LOT. Christ left heaven to live among sinful human beings. He was eventually tortured and killed by the very humans he came to redeem. He suffered hell on the cross when God left him completely alone with the sins of the entire world on his shoulders.

Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.

When the Holy Spirit inspired Paul to write these words, the intention wasn’t that women would go out and marry men that would control and oppress them. The intention was that God’s children would model their lives, attitudes and relationships around the model of Jesus Christ and his beloved, the church. Christ is the head of the church. He leads his sheep. He listens to them. He does what is best for them. He gave his life for them.

Of course, we don’t find this in our imperfect world. Far too often we encounter men who abuse their wives. We see men who push their wives around and take advantage of them. Many husbands simply fail to provide their wives with the attention, leadership, respect and sensitivity that they should.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. I want you to look for someone who models his life after Christ. This man will lead you in the way that is best for you. He will respect you and listen to you. He will strive to understand you and your needs. In turn, you will respect him and support him. You will encourage him and help him be the man God has designed him to be. 

He still won’t be perfect. You still won’t be perfect. But I urge you to look to Christ. Ask the Spirit for strength during the good times and the bad. Use God’s Word as a model for your lives together. God will be with you as you live together the way he intended, and you will be greatly blessed!

I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything. I promise to listen to you. I promise to help when you want it, not when I think you need it. I promise to do what I can to be a better sister and a better friend.

Posted by Electric Gospel
01
Dec
2019

I Will Respect You

Originally published on The Electric Gospel on March 15, 2014.

A young woman speaks from her own difficult experience about what healthy man-woman relationships look like.

I Will Respect You

by Mariah Wild

It is in the look she gives him, that he just does not seem to understand. It is in her sighs when his back is turned. It is in her tears that she has to cry alone.

A woman, she expresses herself through emotions and by them is how she loves deeply and hurts most. Yet those same emotions have the ability inexplicably to trip her up when they prevent her from leaving an unhealthy relationship. She has found herself having allowed an emotional attachment to have taken place between her and her man, one that has now become a detriment to her when the questions arise. Why is he asking me to “submit” to him, when I do not feel comfortable doing that? Why am I getting the feeling that I am worthless? How much does it hurt when he does not appreciate my personal gifts and talents that God has blessed me with?

A woman does not easily acknowledge that her boyfriend is mistreating her. And once she is able to remove the rose tinted sunglasses rather than peeking over the top every once in a while to see the truth, what does she do then? She forces herself to go back and take a deeper look at what the things she thought she was doing wrong the whole time, coming to the conclusion that the problem is not so much her as was him. She searches for the key to this downward spiral. She wants to find what was driving him to be this way, and how had she been so taken in by him while being misled.

I was once this woman, and if your man was anything like the male counterpart I had at one time, even though he was a Christian, he had a misinterpretation of this Bible passage. Perhaps, hurt wife or girlfriend, you can see that this is where your man also derived his own ideas.
“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” (Colossians 3:18)

The “submit” in this passage, if interpreted correctly, is about respect. Respect your husband as God asks us to. Men look for this respect, as they look for the encouragement of that we are proud of them. We can be proud of our men in many circumstances and give them the respect that they look for. This becomes a challenge however, when they mistreat us or when they see submission as a form of servitude or forceful compliance in terms of physical affection.

We cannot as women make the men in our lives re-evaluate themselves. Rather we can offer another Bible verse to encourage men to make the adjustment for their women that God has entrusted them to care for; “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy.” (Ephesians 5:25)

Christ is the ultimate example for how men should love their women. Christ was the first to love all of us and was willing to show that love even to the point of laying down his life on the cross. When men have Christ in their hearts, love and commitment and unselfish sacrifice will flow from them to their wives, their own beloved. When women see and feel this, their men are truly worth respecting.

Posted by Electric Gospel