self-care

26
Aug
2023

What do you want?

Recently I ran across something I wrote years ago. It’s advice I need to take to heart still. Maybe it’s something you struggle with too.

Satisfied vs. Unsatisfied

by David Sellnow

Image Credit: https://www.flickr.com/photos/masstravel/15754047053/in/photostream/

The roots of human nature can be observed in children. They will have their hearts set on some new toy they’ve seen in a store or on TV. They beg, they whine, they moan to get their wish. Then one day – either for the joy of giving or just to end the groaning – their parents buy them the toy they desire. The child is enthralled – so happy that they’re hopping. They play with the toy all day, show it off to every friend and relative. They could not be more satisfied. But the next day, or within a few days, they’re back to asking for the next new thing. “Mom, I really want this toy!” The chant has changed. The satisfaction ended. The child is wanting again.

As I said, what is observable in children is human nature in all of us. We all yearn to be satisfied by this thing, or that thing.

  • If I could just have a Lexus (or other luxury car), I’d be happy.
  • If I could just have that new house in that upscale subdivision, then I’d be happy.
  • If I could just find a better job …
  • If I lived in a different city …
  • If I had a better body, a prettier face, a different appearance …
  • If I had more free time, more money, more vacation days …
  • If I had all these things that my heart desires, then I finally find the happiness I seek.

Wrong. The problem is not that I don’t have all the things my heart desires. The problem is a perpetually unsatisfied heart.

People change jobs, move, undergo cosmetic surgery, dissolve marriages, make many other efforts in attempts to be happier. Often they find these things are not, in fact, the answer.

Happiness begins in the heart – when the heart is touched by God’s grace and is appreciative of God’s greater gifts. Forgiveness, faith, hope, eternity – all these things mean far more than money, place of residence, wardrobe, vehicles.

So, the next time you find yourself looking for happiness, don’t take an inventory of your assets or possessions. Seek a change of heart. Ask God for a healthy attitude, appreciative of his spiritual blessings. Pray, and listen to God‘s wisdom in the matter:

Real profit comes only to those who live contentedly as God would have them live. We brought absolutely nothing with us when we entered the world and we can be sure we shall take absolutely nothing with us when we leave it. Surely then, as far as physical things are concerned, it is sufficient for us to keep our bodies fed and clothed. 

Those who set their hearts on being wealthy expose themselves to temptation. They fall into one of the world’s traps, and lay themselves open to all sorts of silly and wicked desires, which are quite capable of utterly ruining and destroying their souls. For loving money leads to all kinds of evil, and some, in the struggle to be rich, have lost their faith and caused themselves untold agonies of mind.

But you, keep clear of such things. Set your heart not on riches, but on goodness, Christ-likeness, faith, love, patience and humility. Fight the worthwhile battle of the faith, keep your grip on that life eternal to which you have been called. 

  • (1 Timothy 6:6-12, The New Testament in Modern English by J.B Phillips copyright © 1960, 1972 J. B. Phillips.)
Posted by David Sellnow
05
Mar
2023

A creed for personal confidence

For those who may struggle with low self-worth and pressure themselves into perfectionism

This past week’s podcast episode of Cafeteria Christian was entitled, “Giving Up Perfectionism for Lent.” The thoughts shared there reminded me of many ministry students I worked with over the years. This was something I wrote for them.

– David Sellnow

Confidence anchored in Christ

I am a child of God.  I have a Father who has lavished me with his love and calls me his very own.   I need not worry about what anyone in the world thinks of me, because I am already and always a child of God. And what I will become in my future with Christ is even greater than I can imagine.  (1 John 3:1-2)

I am a worthwhile person.  I have talents and abilities that are uniquely my own.  I don’t need to try to be as this as someone else or as that as someone else.  Each person has their own gifts to use, their own role to play.   I simply will accept who I am and the character and gifts God has given to me.  I won’t worry about what I’m not or what I haven’t yet become.  I will walk in the Lord and with the Lord, and he will lead me to surmount whatever challenges I face.  (Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12)

Image credit: Ridwan Jaafar on Flickr

I am a human being.  I know that I fall short of glory in so many ways, but that hasn’t stopped God from loving me or redeeming me.  I do not have to achieve perfection as a person.  Indeed, I need to admit that I can’t achieve perfection, even in small things.  I will stop trying to chase perfection in one thing after another, because such a pursuit only wears me out in body and soul.  Instead, casting all my anxieties on the Lord, bringing him all my weariness and burdens, I know he will care for me. I will find rest for my soul. (Romans 3:23-24, 1 Peter 5:7, Matthew 11:28)

I can conquer all things through Christ, who loves me.  I can do all things through him who gives me strength.  I may be weak and frail in myself, but Christ’s grace is sufficient for me.  His power is made perfect in my weakness.  The only perfection I need is his.  No task, no challenge, no hardship, no criticism, no pain or pressure of any kind will ever be able to separate me from the love that God has for me or the love that my friends in God have for me.  So I can love myself.  I will love myself.  In Jesus I am loved and lovable.  In Jesus I am strong and capable.  In Jesus I am alive and life is livable.  (Romans 8:37-39, Philippians 4:13, 2 Corinthians 12:9)

I am human.  I am imperfect.  That will always be the case, as long as I walk on this earth.  But I will walk tall and grow strong, because my Lord and his love go with me.  No one—not even I myself by my own insecurities—will be able to stand in my way, because my God will never leave me nor forsake me. (Joshua 1:5-9)

I am loved.  I am a child of God.  I need not be discouraged or afraid.

A version of this article was published in 2014 in Forward in Christ magazine.

Posted by David Sellnow